back to chaos

just when things get back to normal BAAAAAAAAAAANG another change. change its very hard to accept sometimes. shit i was forced to change once, now again in the same situation. this time i have no say whats or ever. i kinda understand but i kinda dont want too. call me selfish or call me an asshole. i want the same opportunity i always had. now it will be that much harder to move on, to keep going. all alone in this busy metropolitan we call home. shit please dont make me go through this routine once again, its been almost 9 years since the last after 16 years of normality will it be 5 next time or less? i cant go through this again.......